Two Headed Puppy News

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TwoHeadedPuppy — Thu, 08 May 2008 03:07:52 +0000

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the conference room story .. from a CEO’s autobiography

TwoHeadedPuppy — Tue, 06 May 2008 20:03:55 +0000

When I arrived, he was waiting for me in the conference room. I peeked in there and saw him nervously looking around. I was already twenty minutes late and decided to make him wait a bit more. I am the CEO after all. I have the power. I have the power to make time go slower or faster … Wait, where is my checkbook? Did this guy just steal it? Oh my god, where is it? … Oh, here it is. It was in my pocket. It was in the shirt pocket that’s closest to my heart. I almost called the police … OK, I guess I’ll go in now. I wonder if I can make more money for myself from this guy. If we close the deal I will ask for a small donation for my troubles. I deserve it. I know I do.

I am an expert in deleting emails. Please hire me.

TwoHeadedPuppy — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:04:30 +0000

I delete so many e-mails every day that I have become an expert. Therefore please hire me. I can delete your e-mails really really well. I am not cheap, but not expensive either.

no, really, there was no traffic

TwoHeadedPuppy — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:28:26 +0000

I was planning on writing a post about a situation in Southern California where one character would say something like, “No, really! There was no traffic!”, but I could not think of such a situation.

Must be some little switch or a button somewhere in there

TwoHeadedPuppy — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:17:09 +0000

I bought a new car but I don’t know how to open the passenger door. Will someone please reply to my message and let me know how to do it. Thanks!

solar power is in vogue now, but … is there hidden meaning in solar power?

TwoHeadedPuppy — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:31:51 +0000

Start with : solar power
Exchange the first letters : polar sower
That sounds like : polar sour
There you have it -> proof that there is global warming at the poles -> They are going sour!

I know, I know, I may have gone overboard

TwoHeadedPuppy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:00:46 +0000

… I may have gone overboard this time. During an interview on a major TV show I blurted out that I am the greatest musician that ever lived. I was caught by all the excitement and the lights and the celebrity interviewers. It was all bigger than me. I may not, after all, be the greatest musician that ever lived. Ok, I know. I made a mistake … They will probably put a video of that on YouTube or something and then mock it to no end …

cnn, reuters, yahoo news, google news, ap, fox news and others …

TwoHeadedPuppy — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:42:41 +0000

None of the major news sites have picked up Two Headed Puppy News as a source yet … huh!

school field trip offered to the birthplace of Two Headed Puppy

TwoHeadedPuppy — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:36:29 +0000

It will include transportation, packed lunch, two bathroom stops, thirty minute free time at the birthplace, a lecture from the Two Headed Puppy birthplace and trip back .. stay tuned for more details

it was a hot and muggy weekend …

TwoHeadedPuppy — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:45:52 +0000

…. Hot said to Muggy, “Yo Muggy, check this out.” …. Muggy responded, “Wow dude! Take it easy man Hot!” … just another Hot and Muggy weekend in the city …