I am planning to organize a stats party. Everyone can come and bring their web stats and share them. We can look at the graphs, tables, colorful spreadsheets and such. It will probably be a dress up party. I will be “the host” because I am the host. We will see how many unique visitors there will be and how many views each visitor will have, like when they are being checked out. It will be interesting to see how long the visitors will stay so let’s note that. I am sure that we will have a few visitors from other countries. Welcome! Then we can analyze everyone’s path to the party house (located at IP address in the invitation) and examine how and where they came from. Some will probably directly come to the party and some will have to search around to find the place. We can go over those search terms to learn which queries and phrases were most popular. “Stats party” should garner good results. Search engine and not only search engine efficiency is a hot topic, I mean with all of the environmental speak and all of that … I am sure that the party resolutions of each guest will make a difference in the overall statistical picture. In order to make it all more organized, I will send out daily, weekly and monthly stats notices for the party, before and after, in several languages. If you refer someone to my stats party I will refer someone to your future party. I might post some text ads on telephone poles around my address. If you come to the party after seeing this text ad let me know … and then … we can then automate the results gathering, write a nice script to export data to attractively formatted ASCII, compile into a nice report and post it on a social news network or something. It’s gonna be great !!!! CU There

I have a fan inside my computer. I have a fan inside my car. I have a fan inside my bedroom. I have a fan in the bathroom. I have a fan in the dining room. I have a fan in the kitchen. I have a fan inside the stereo receiver. I have a fan in the fridge. I have a fan in the hair dryer. I have a fan in the vacuum cleaner.

Sometimes I feel stupid when I get into my car and I realize I forgot my cell phone. Then I drive around and see all these people driving while on their cell phone and I feel envious. Sometimes I just cup my palm around my cheek and ear and pretend to talk on the cell phone while driving. It’s sometimes better than the cell phone, especially when my hand is warm. Then I caress my cheek and sooth myself. I do miss my phone though too.

I wore a crown to the supermarket today and everyone treated me like a king. I shall wear my crown to the supermarket more frequently.

… xyz (name encoded to protect privacy) is sitting in his room late at night. He sees little lights on his electrical equipment flickering. They are flickering in a most unusual fashion. In fact, it appears as though, they might be flickering intelligently …. This can’t be … Are they trying to communicate, these little lights? If they are, what are they trying to say? xyz has always wondered if there is a possibility of a quasi-living cognitive mind inside his stereo or inside the modem. He turns up his power conditioner as if to nourish them and feed them. The little lights respond by a brighter flicker. xyz is excited and nervous at the same time. He looks around the room for anyone to share this wonderful moment. He is alone. No, he is not alone. The little lights are there, flickering … A bit more voltage from the power conditioner. Wait, not too much. They cannot take too much as they might vanish …. Nice and easy now … There !

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