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When I arrived, he was waiting for me in the conference room. I peeked in there and saw him nervously looking around. I was already twenty minutes late and decided to make him wait a bit more. I am the CEO after all. I have the power. I have the power to make time go slower or faster … Wait, where is my checkbook? Did this guy just steal it? Oh my god, where is it? … Oh, here it is. It was in my pocket. It was in the shirt pocket that’s closest to my heart. I almost called the police … OK, I guess I’ll go in now. I wonder if I can make more money for myself from this guy. If we close the deal I will ask for a small donation for my troubles. I deserve it. I know I do.

I delete so many e-mails every day that I have become an expert. Therefore please hire me. I can delete your e-mails really really well. I am not cheap, but not expensive either.

I was planning on writing a post about a situation in Southern California where one character would say something like, “No, really! There was no traffic!”, but I could not think of such a situation.

I bought a new car but I don’t know how to open the passenger door. Will someone please reply to my message and let me know how to do it. Thanks!

1. Start with : solar power
2. Exchange the first letters : polar sower
3. That sounds like : polar sour
4. There you have it -> proof that there is global warming at the poles -> They are going sour!

…  I may have gone overboard this time. During an interview on a major TV show I blurted out that I am the greatest musician that ever lived. I was caught by all the excitement and the lights and the celebrity interviewers. It was all bigger than me. I may not, after all, be the greatest musician that ever lived. Ok, I know. I made a mistake … They will probably put a video of that on YouTube or something and then mock it to no end …

None of the major news sites have picked up Two Headed Puppy News as a source yet … huh!

It will include transportation, packed lunch, two bathroom stops, thirty minute free time at the birthplace, a lecture from the Two Headed Puppy birthplace and trip back .. stay tuned for more details

…. Hot said to Muggy, “Yo Muggy, check this out.” …. Muggy responded, “Wow dude! Take it easy man Hot!” … just another Hot and Muggy weekend in the city …